this is kinda funny to me.

sooo you had something great ....

it felt like what "it" was supposed to feel like.

&&then it ends.

you realize, it mist not have been that great in the first place.

i'm unsure of how to feel.

its kinda like, idk if im kinda like jill from why did i get married or like tom hansen from 500 days of summer.

did he leave his 80 for his 20??

or

did is he finally sure with her what he was confused about with me??

not even to over think it, im just sayin.

i mean im not gunna dwell on it, but its just funny how with life you never really know where you stand until its really really over.

WELP, that being said. later gators.

-___-

-___-

happy bdayy to me?!

no really fxck birthdays.

idky i think people are gunna care as much about my bdayy as i do about theres.

but ANYWAY.

some updates:

1. met the OTHER side of my family.

my grandmother is so sweet. i love her -- great hugs.

my younger brother&sister are great. my sister was a little shy, but thats cool.

brother is taller then me -___-

my older brother and i are like peas&&carrots.

i love that dude, he understands me on a certain level. we're a lot alike and i love it.

<-- us.

2. im attending uscb in the spring. yayy.

hopefully i do awesomely well and end up at columbia in the summer or fall.

i really need this, because home is not an option. im ready to blow my brains out.

3. my bdayy has sucked royally.

i didnt get to do ANYTHING i wanted to. not even go to the muh fxckin movies.

over some trivial shxt. TRIVIAL. because apparently my birthday should be about other people. -___-

my grandmother raw ass looked me in the face and said that i should be asking her what could be done for her.

i mean im not a selfish person or anything, all i ask is that im able to do wtf i wanna do on my birthday.

how you tell me you dont have time to drop me around the corner, and then you go out and go shopping ...

right up the street ...

from where i asked you to drop me ...

cmon son. cooooooooome ON suuuuuhn!!! the hell?!

im not asking you to dedicate ya day to me, im asking you to take 15 minutes to drop me off, and another 15 to pick me up. inFXCKINcredible.

but im sorry, im being selfish and i need to drop the "all about me attitude" -___-

i think im more angry at myself for ACTUALLY thinking i was gunna have a nice bdayy.

how wrong was i. shxt.

im so ready for this fxckin year to be OVER. its been the lamest year ever lol.

really, its almost funny.

reaal quick.

so imma be fast.

quick update: anybody i may have liked prior to this post.

anyone mentioned i mean ...

im over it. in my recent visit to mercer, i learned a lot of things.

soooo, im over it.

=]

im feelin one new person, but you'll never know who.

&&lets see where i end up back in school.

im just glad the year is almost done.

found something to wear on xmas. just need bdayy clothes - and something to actually do.

::shrug::

a better blog will come later, im just still workin some things out in my mind.

until then ...

stay up.

_bee*

happy thanksgiving.

did anyone see my boo kermit in the thanksgiving day parade this year?!

hmmm.

found this pic of him ...

<3

hes dope just like me.

got a tweet today.

QualityNYC @aintTHATaBEE IIGHT! heres the official link to my mixtape "iLLuStrate" Check Me Out! http://usershare.net/omrmdw5vct2t


hmmmmm.
check it out.

follow him twitter.com/qualitynyc

okay honestly.

there is no such thing as a "Random thought"

no thought is random, you arrive at every thought through a series of thoughts.

like if i look at a blue book, then think of the blue shirt i wore yesterday, then to the cute boy i met while wearing said shirt, which consequently made me think of my love life, which is essentially non-existant, which THEN leads me to the thought of me possibly never getting married which makes me blurt out:

"what if i never get married??" or some related shxt ....

that does NOT mean that im random.

just because you do not understand my train of thought, or possibly how our conversation may be related to my outburst ...

does NOT make my thought random.

so please do not call me random ...

im dope.

you dont understand me?? then dont converse with me.

your wasting your time.

but then again ...

no one understands me really, so who am i to converse with.

AH WELP,

back to tribe.

later gators.

BEEnita Applebum*

XD

cause i am too DAMN dope.

i mean honestly ...
in all honesty ...

some shxt kills me.

i thought i lost my inspiration.
had nothing to write about, let shxt get me down.


but THEE sydney reminded me of something important.
i am too dope.

i realize i like to talk.
at times i say crazy shxt.
funny shxt.
sad shxt.
happy shxt.
shxt sometimes i just talk shxt.

but most of all i say real shxt.
it may not be a reality for you, but its damn sure a reality to me.
&&i know its a reality for others.

&&thats why niggas feel me.

HAHA!!

nah ya'll .... im just serious.

everyday i wake up&&i just wanna talk to everyone.
i dont need a t.v. show or anything.

just broadcast me on the radio ..... give me a mic.
just wanna talk&&relate to people.


all this time i been lookin for some inspiration.
but perhaps i had some the whole time?!
ugh.

for real ya'll

i am too DAMN dope.

BEE*