::sigh::

GRRRRR.

okay, so i like this guy.

yes yes, its happening again.

only thing is ...

im just now REALIZING that i liked him.

like i always wondered why certain things that he would do bothered me.

always pushed everything out of my head, there was NO way that i could like him.

no matter how much everyone said "you know bee, maybe you like him"

naaaaah.

DAAAAH WELP, I WAS WRONG.

sue me; lol.

so you know when you click with someone.

not one of those clicks that are so unreal that ya like this is perfect (like @aintTHATaBEE&&@Swag101 haha)

its more of like, its effortless.

talk for hours type thing.

almost like BFF's, but definitely not.

idk

this whole thing is crazy.

like we're good friends.

like today we talked about how he likes this girl but she basically will never see him the way he sees her.

&&i related to him about it.

little does he know, im talkin about him.

damn im trippin.

like idk, &&we be playin around making jokes.

well, not really making jokes.

well its really him, sayin "we" finna do "blah blaaaah."

which probably WOULD happen.

if i didnt like him so much.

like honestly, i have mad friends that get into situations that become out of their control.

where they have ALL these feelings for this person&&get into a hazardous situation, that BECAUSE of their feelings they cant remove themselves from.

&&im not saying really their is something really wrong with that situation. its good to be able to let go in a situation especially when it comes to your feelings. ::sigh::

but im looking at the situation&&im sure its not gunna be one of the ones where i can let go.

damn damn DAMN.

soooo because i like him as much as i do, i have to stop myself from doing something wreckless.

i do NOT want to become attached.

idk idk IDK.

&&i didnt arrive at this situation lightly.

it took me a while to ACCEPT these feelings.

grrrrr, argh, UGH!!

like this whole thing kinda made my sulky today.

my mom even asked me whats wrong.

grr, this is the first day in a while i felt like a girl.

instead of havin a nigga mentality.

sheesh.

feelings just drive us nuts.

&&now that we probably gunna be around each other more this year because both of our BFF's are gone we kinda banded together.

some people think i should tell.

but honestly i've given SOOOO much of myself over the past few years, im kinda in a situation where i cant give anymore of myself because there is NO MORE of me left. i need to get into a situation where someone is willing to give THEMSELVES up as well. that way, im not in this alone. AAAAAALL of this, and all i've established is that i really like this person. smh.

OMG.

someone help me.

lmbo.

***SIDETRACK** 

i know i might be a little wrong but sometimes i decide that i dont want to talk to people.

namely in my family.

sooo i  answer and pretend that i cant hear.

i just say "hello hello hellooooo" so that they hang up so they think i can't hear them.

but WHY does my grandmother sit there on the phone and proceed to reprimand me because i can't hear her?!?! "bianca you need to fix your fxckin phone" because im saying "hello hello"

hahaaaa, &&NO she does not know im pretending. but come on. why would you talk if you KNOW i cant hear you?! oh well.

so yes anywhoots.

HELP MEEEEE!!!

::sigh::

C*Royal