this made me smile. =]

iLOVE chester french

feel good music.

C*Royal

just statin facts.

alright seriously i think this needs to be said.

i would just like to point out that i LOVE mike, &&i DO think that his death should be recognized.

however, should the world stop?!

NO.

Everyone is running around like chicken's with their heads cut off because MJ died.

honestly guys, it was going to happen EVENTUALLY.

DO NOT GET ME WRONG, i had my moment of silence.

i EVEN teared up a bit.

but i feel like his ONE death is taking away from everything else in the world.

 .... the deaths that occur in the middle east?!

&&were not talking about ONE person here, we're talking about multiple people.

NOT ONLY THAT, but is it fair that ALL THESE PEOPLE who were all up mikes ass last week, talking bad about him&&all of this stuff now all of a sudden are mourning his loss. YOU people are the ones who basically killed him.

&&PLEASE PEOPLE, if you NEVER actually sat down&&listened to a mike album before in your life, &&you just now decided to watch thriller&&remember the time, that does not ....

i repeat ...

DOES NOOOOOOT make you a fan.

shut up&&stop jumping on band wagons

man his death is showin some true colors people.

sorry people.

just statin facts.

C*Royal

R.I.P. Michael Jackson.

i truly appreciate the music you took the time to bless us with.

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett&&Whitney's Momma

I didn't know you two, but i hope you rest in peace.

as if i never left.

man, OH man.

its been a while man.

i've JUST returned to duluth.

things are peachy, i reunited w/PiNKY.

oodles of fun.

i got to see SOME of my people.

but since SOMEONE decided to be selfish for intentions unbeknownst to me ...

somepeople were not told i was present.

there for prolonging our next encounter.

INTENTIONS btw, that have no chance of happening.

he has no idea that he's making himself look foolish.

DAAAAAAAH WELP.

anywhoots, finally i owe mercer no more money.

so things are looking up for this coming fall.

remind me to aplpy for work study.

i NEED a job this year.

considering pinky wont be there, i must count on the bruhs to remind me.

maybe even leslie, ;-)

hmm, what else??

since no one is hiring ... im still jobless.

boohoo, ah welp.

hopefully i can stop procrastinating&&finally take my damn driving test.

my deadline for getting my license is the end of july.

the grands need the space for their car, which mean MY car has to be moved.

which canot happen if ms. royal has no license.

::sigh::  all this work to do!!

its almost

as if i never left.

C*Royal

lovin' me.

the scrunchy face has returned.

not that it EVER left.

im SOOOO lovin' me today.

i mean i love myself everyday.

but TODAY, i feel especially cute&&stuff.

new hair cut&&stuff.

FINALLY got my nails where i want them.

had to go classic&&get a frenchyMANi.

im kinda sad i didnt get to go to new york/albany this summer.

but i suppose i'm okay.

i'm finally leavin SC.

gunna see PiNKY tomorrow or sunday HOPEFULLY.

i feel friend deprived. haha.

but everythings okay b/c i look CUTE today&&i'm loving me.

i think i should go shopping just to cement the way i'm feeling.

LOVIN' ME

C*Royal

okay i miss my friend.

no for real.

like i miss the crazy times we had on the phone maan.

&&i know he probably doesnt care.

which is cool.

we all moved on got on with life.

but sometimes i wish i could go back.

i feel like i would have appreciated the situation so much more had i known it was going to end the way it did.

i go on facebook&&i see how well your doing&&im SOOOO proud.

apart of me wishes I could be apart of that.

be there for your achievements&&such.

most of all, i just miss my friend.

the conversation

the laughs

the support.

&&everything that comes with them being my friend.

I'm Lovin' It.

i miss my friend.

C*Royal

no seriously.

alrighty people.

this junk is getting ridiculous.

so this boy, yes i say BOY ... he really gets on my nerves.

i'm a just keep it funky.

we did something ... that we shouldn't have done.

that i know i didnt want to do, but since im so hard-headed&&wanted to feel better ...

i did it anyway.

shxt, i was curious&&i apologize.

welp, it worked.

no big deal i let it go.

you'd think he did too!!

since hes such a "macho player" like he leads on to be right??

NOPE.

sooo because i don't want to do it again&&have a valid reason for such ... niggas get mad.

so i EXPLAIN the reason why i don't want to do it.

explaaaain the whole situation surrounding it.

he gives me the understanding that he understands.

hes supposed to clean it up i suppose.

everythings cool for a week.

buuut things get dirty again

&&then i get tried AGAiN.

hmm, okay.

sooo i explain again ... niggas stop talkin to me.

for TWO MONTHS.

now to explain the situation BEFORE we did everything ... we were really good friends.

sooo why would you throw away a completely good friendship because i dont want to do something that CLEARLY we had no business doing in the first place?!?!?!

NOT ONLY THAT ...

dude, im not stupid. i am "hip to ya game"

ya GEE is not impeccable, you are NOT SLICK.

plus don't try&&run game on me when you've already exposed it a couple months before hand when we were cool!!!

so anywhoots, after you throw away our friendship over something soooo damn childish, after TWO MONTHS of not talkin to me ... you try me AGAiN?!

have we not got the picture yet?!?

guess not.

so you tell me things don't matter.

you don't care.

so thats GREAT for me.

that means you can leave me alone right??

naaah of course not.

so you come to me&&tell me you MISS ME?!

nigga please.

you DO NOT miss me.

&&then when i ask you a perfectly logical question.

"what exactly is it that you miss, ____??"

you call me an idiot&&tell me to stfu?!

get your life together&&stop trynna fxck up mine.

if you can have any girl like you claim, then why you trynna bone me?!

i mean i know im fabulous, but come on now?

lets be adults.

at least ACT like your older then me. 

yes, i am acting like a nigga in some aspects.

but why is it that when a girl decides to act like a nigga shes the bad guy.

but when a dude decides to do it, its fine b/c hes a dude?!

maybe i'm wrong&&i shouldn't be behaving like this, but you know what ...

stop painting a picture that your one way&&you down for doing one thing&&then you can't handle it.

needless to say

i learned my lesson.

NEXT PROBLEM.

okay, soooo you act like you want to be my man.

tell me you like me.

i find out ya talkin to someone else.

NOT FROM YO MIND YOU.

you tell me ya not.

&&then you just want to be friends.

HOWEVER, you continue to act like you want to be more.

okay so we continue to talk.

&&then niggas get "marooned" on facebook.

(thats pirate english for no longer single a.k.a. dating someone.)

thats fine. we STOP talking.

not like a respectful oh lets go seperate ways.

more like a ... communication just stopped.

then you decide to have a little event.

ou invite me.

cool beans.

i keehauled that bxt.

(pirate english for denied)

do not CALL me&&ask me why im not going!!!!

YOU KNEW that i liked you.

i am not coming to your house to be around you&&her.

ooh oh, wait.

shes not going to be there?!

then thats an even BIGGER reason for why you shouldn't invite me.

i understand trying to be friends.

but you pushin it man.

like really.

get that SHXT together.

NO SERIOUSLY.

C*Royal

found my old crown bxts.

sammy remember this??

yea, its small.

but its about quality, not quantity.

C*Royal

only sometimes.

XD

LOVE get real.

a little backing story: i came up with this whole post&&then i got sidetracked with stuff w/my brother. ( =] btw hes cool just like his little sister haha still got a lot more to learn about him but i think we finna be cool) soo yea, i started watchin this movie called “The Holiday” ... very cute movie. so in the beginning of the movie one of the characters played by kate winslet is narrating&&she says the following to introduce the movie. since it kind of went with my post i altered it a little bit to fit in there. i still have yet to have good rant material ... no drama (which is good), so this will be good enough to at least spark conversation i hope.

"I have found almost everything ever written about love to be true. 

Shakespeare said that 'journey's end in lovers meeting.' 

what an extraordinary thought. 

personally i have not experienced anything remotely close to that but I'm more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more then anyone reatlly should. 

I’m constantly amazed by its shear power to alter and define our lives. 

It was shakespeare that also said 'love is blind'

now that is something i KNOW to be true.

For some quite inexplicably love fades.

For others, love is simply lost.

but then of course, love can also be found.

even if just for the night.

&&then theres another kind of love.

the cruelest kind.

the one that almost kills its victims.

its called unrequited love.

of that i am an expert.

most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other.

but what about the rest of us??

what about our stories???

those of us who fall in love alone???

we are the victims of the one sided affair.

we are the cursed of the loved ones.

we are the UNLOVED ones.

the walking wounded.

the handicapped with out the advance of a great parking space."

now i know, bestie is gunna say im crazy ...
&&maybe i am.

but i really DID love dude.
like ... i might have actually really been IN love with dude.

&&love can really blind you.
SERIOUS wool over ya eyes.

its funny how shxt never turns out how you plan it to.
we just really believed that "we" were it.
like, meeting each other was kinda like the first day of the rest of our lives.

we planned our life, kids, whole shaaaaBANG.

&&we were crazy.
&&&we were kids.
&&&&we loved each other.

i cant speak for him on whether or not he was really IN love or not.
so im not exactly sure if my love was unrequited or not.

but i can DEFiNiTELY feel where this person is coming from.


i mean at the end of the day i like to think that all the feelings i had for him were real&&returned.

i mean ... look.

theres things that i could talk to him about that i couldn't talk to anyone else about.
there was something that i shared with him that i hadn't shared with any other guy before him.
 ... or any guy after him.

&&i find that incredibly cooooool.
&&i have complete faith i will find it again. call me crazy.
i admit that at times i may have takin it for granted
or pushed him away ... what have you buuut end of the day ...

i appreciated the whole situation for what it was.
im glad to say i went through it, i learned a lot.


from the situation, &&from him.
&&apart of me will always love him i suppose.

i guess me saying all of this is to say, love can be tough.

it can knock you down&&bring you up all at the same time.

but whichever one it does,

appreciate it for what it is no matter how long it lasts.

yes, APPRECIATE it. 

even if it knocks you down ... you live&&you learn.
thats life.
it BEE* like that sometimes.
shxt gets real.
haha

LOVE gets real.

C*Royal

ALRIGHT YA'LL.

so my internet at my house went out right ...

so we came to atlanta bread company b/c they have free internet.

&&i sign on to facebook&&i have a friend request from my BROTHER.

yes my actually true to life BLOOD BROTHER.

who, if you know me really well, you know i've never met or spoken to before in my life.

now i had this whole post planned ... but i have cancelled it because i'm just happy im getting to know the OTHER side of my family.

damn ... my brother ya'll.

god is TOO good.

C*Royal

&&the progression continues ...

soo in talking to leslie lately i've been coming actually a little excited to be back to mercer in the fall ...

i orginally didnt want to go back ... between all the money&&people problems i was having i was against mercer all the way.

but noooow, that im changing&&GROWiNG ... i realize ...

beee, your doing YOOOU, dont worry about that.

god will find a way to make the money problems go away.

as for people problems just do you ... everything will work out fine.

i thought i was going to be alone, but then i realized if i really needed someone to talk to im sure i can RUN to leslie (hopefully she wont turn me away hehe) shes insanely cool&&im glad to say i know her.

&&then i have the bruhs hahaaa ... always have the bruhs.

this bloggin thing is keeping me pretty cool thus far.

i have yet to find the right thing to rant about ...

but i know its coming.

maybe tonight who knows.

oh&& ... i guess you could say i cut my hair ...

hehe.

&&the progression continues.

C*Royal

okay okay.

sooo im reading my old blog.

aintthatabee.blogspot.com

&&i <3>

for being completely straight forward in my blog.

&&&leslie if you ever get a chance to read ALL of it.

&&you wanna know who i'm talking about in my blog just ask.

i'll tell you on the low.

although some of them are obvious.

=]

hehe.

C*Royal

sooo, i saw it.

(soo im on facebook; &&a very intelligent friend of mine has this status.

it conveys EXACTLY how i feel soo i really need to share it.)

yup i saw it.

it was walkin like a sheep

 baa'in like a sheep

   eatin grass like a sheep 

&&then i got close&&saw that zipper...

damn, these wolves are a trip....

funny how people act as if they are one thing, then you get close&&get to know them.

smh.

thats life.

glad im doin me.

hehe, yup im doin BEE*

C*Royal

jealousy rears its UGLY head.

Its funny how we see ourselves as kids.

Its kind of like everyone is more or less equal, we never really look @ the physical ... all we care about is getting along with eachother, who gets the swing ooor who your going to invite over for your sleep over.

... and then we grow up.
&&we realize that things are not always equal.

We are all different
Different strengths, different weaknesses.
Different cultures.

Different stories.

&&that's beautiful.

Until we create this image in our head that there's a supreme ideal human&&we isolate eachother and decide that we are better then someone else because we have prettier hair. Or maybe we're a better size, better looking.

welp, maybe its just me but that's a distorted image.

The most supreme level of human to ME, is the person who is completely&&utterly happy with who they are on the inside AND the outside. They make the best of what they have&&if they don't like something?? They change it for themselves&&not for anyone else.

So if you get to that point, good for you.

&&Beware of haters.

Jealousy always has a tendency to rear its head.
Just make sure its rearing its head @ you.

Because I know its lookin @ me.
Can't help it
=]

C*Royal

the rebirth?!

alrighty soo ...

i'm being reborn. 

it's been coming for a long time, especially since the start of college.

it was inevitable&&i was scared of it for a while.

i was unsure of how i would grow&&was uncertain on whether or not it would be positive or not.

welp, change is here.

&&it has decided to SLAP me in the face today in the form of a newly bestowed nickname.

CROWN*ROYAL

its about quality; not quantity.

YES, its a whiskey.

but a good friend of mine said to take the name&&make it my own.

&&thats just what i plan to do.

sooo, rather then sit around&&figure out if its positive or negative?

im just going to MAKE SURE its positive.

SOO TODAY:

i am letting it be known that i am taking over my life&&starting anew.

"fxck the world with a long dxck" weezy says ...

"muh fxcka im ME yes bxtch im MEEEE."

&&i'm going to continue to work on&&be MEEE until i look in the mirror&&LOVE what i see.

&&&even then i wont stop.

I wont stop growing, or improving who i am.

sooo, the world better be scared. because CROWN*ROYAL finna attack.

&&after i attack?! 

nothing.

i never STOP attacking.

(lemme just say, it was not a QUE that named me this)